Meghan McWalter

My Autoethnography 
December 15, 2010

Finals Week

(Before I begin I have a note: Do you want to know what a good teacher is? A teacher that throws material at you and says, ‘have at it’? No.  That isn’t a good teacher. A good teacher will tell the students what is important and embed it into them. A good teacher should walk into a classroom and take over; they should have complete control. They have the future in the palm of their hands, if they fuck that up, they will be the losers. A teacher should broaden the horizons of the students; tell them that the only way that they will learn anything worth a while, is if they go out into the world. Travel. Explore. Get Your Hands Dirty. Get Out of Your Little Box. Hands on Education…..This is why I want to teach, I want them to know that in order to learn they have to explore the world. Books. Books are what can take you anywhere; all over the world, back to the past, and into the future. They allow you to create a mental picture in your mind. Be Interesting. Make it fun. Adventure is Key).

…..Now that’s what I’m talking about.

So anyway, been awhile…lots to say. I have had a few interesting days since I logged last. Frank and I are on the rocks, things have been going wrong left and right. I honestly think that it’s because we aren’t meant to be. I can’t help but notice, but I always see that he holds himself back from saying things to me. I can see it in his face every time we have a conversation. I don’t know whether to feel like an idiot or a crazy person. Anyway, it is finals week and I have been killing myself. I only want to go home for break. Screw junior year (Fall). Today I was so stressed out. After spending the whole day in the library, I went to Franks and hung out with him and his roommates. On my way down Franks old oak stairs, I stepped down onto the first step, mind you, I felt my foot slip and all I could think was ‘oh fuck, this sucks’ on my way down. I’m in so much pain….My whole left leg is numb, and I’m pretty sure something is----yea no, something is definitely wrong with it……This is my life.

Later on….

            When I pulled in the parking lot of my house I decided it was too warm in my car to get out right away, so I lit a cig, turned up the music, leaned back, and thought. That’s how I came up with that teach thing at the top….It sounded way better in the car, but I forgot that I wanted to write it down right away and forgot about it for 2 hours…again, This is My Life.

Quote for today….

“The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds.”

Don't call it a Diary....

      I started writing in a word document my freshman year of college, because I wanted to remember everything that I thought was important. Turned out that I only wrote in it every once in a while, they would be long entries because I was trying to catch up on everything that I missed. 

       I like the idea of a journal, whenever I have a cool thought or a good idea I will usually put it in a memo in my phone to find later. I know that I will want my students to use their minds, emotions, and memories. A journal is a good way to keep track of those things. Don't call it a diary, boys won't do it, and girls will turn it into a little black book. Keep it simple and call it a Journal, students will be more open to it. Also, I want to encourage students to bring outside resources into their journals: lyrics, quotes, excerpts, etc,. It will turn into a data base of ideas that can be accessed at any time.